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.Sometimes we overlook the things that ought not to be overlooked and don't overlook thethings that ought to be overlooked.An integral part of a good value system is commitment.COMMITMENTWhen our value system is clear it becomes a lot easier to make decisions andcommitments.Example: You can't make a commitment to your country by selling secrets to the enemy.You can't keep a friend by revealing to others what he told you in confidence.You can'tkeep a commitment to a job by trying to do as little as possible.Unkept commitments result in dishonest behavior.I wonder how any relationship,regardless of whether personal or professional, would work if people said something tothe effect.f& I will try but I can't commit.f& I will do it but don't count on me.f& I will be there if I can, but don't get your hopes up.f& I will be there, so long as you do well.f& I will be there so long as you are in good health.f& I will stick with you till I find something better.If the following relationships cannot count and depend on one another, I wonder howanything would ever work in this world.Parent / child Husband / wifeStudent / teacher Customer / salesmanEmployer / employee Friend / friendPage 160 of 175 The uncertainty could lead to insanity.Our strongest relationships are tied together withthe invisible something called commitment.Today, breaking a promise is considered nobig deal.All relationships go sour without commitment.Lack of commitment would destabilize relationships and lead to insecurity.No one wouldknow where they stand with each other.Commitment implies:1.Dependability2.Reliability3.Predictability4.Consistency5.Caring6.Empathy7.A sense of duty8.Sincerity9.Character10.Integrity11.LoyaltyIf one of these ingredients is missing, commitment loses strength.When a person makes a commitment to someone, he is really saying, "You can count onme no matter what," and "I will be there when you need me."Unconditional commitment says, "My behavior is predictable in an unpredictable future."What makes the future unpredictable?f& Changes in your life and circumstances.f& Changes in my life and circumstances.f& Changes in the external conditions.Regardless of the uncertainty, commitment says "You can count on me." A person whomakes a commitment is willing to give up a lot.For what? The answer is pretty clear.Therewards can be priceless.Commitment says:1.I am willing to sacrifice because I care.2.I am a person of integrity and you can trust me.3.I will not let you down.4.Despite pain, I will still be there.5.I will not let you down in good times or in bad times.Commitment is not like a legal contract which is enforceable.Its foundation is not asigned piece of paper but character, integrity, and empathy.Commitment does not mean sticking to something when a person has no choice.Itmeans sticking in spite of choices.Without the above ingredients, no one would make aserious long-lasting commitment to others.Page 161 of 175 What makes a commitment worth keeping? It brings:f& Predictability.f& Security.f& Personal growth.f& Strong relationships between individuals and community.f& Lasting personal and professional relationships.Even gangsters and crooks are looking for committed supporters.Commitment creates apatch of green in a vast jungle; we call this security in an insecure world.Keepingcommitments is worth the effort.Commitment means surrendering our personal wants foranother person's needs.Remember and keep in mind, needs are stronger than wants.Commitments act as aglue which bonds relationships.Commitment implies sacrificing fun and willingness toaccept sorrow.For example,1.Commitment to friendship implies maintaining confidentiality.2.Commitment to customer implies giving good service.3.Commitment to marriage implies fidelity.4.Commitment to decency implies staying away from vulgarity.5.Commitment to patriotism implies sacrifice.5.Commitment to job implies integrity.6.Commitment to community implies responsibility.Commitment is a sign of maturity.Commitment means not quitting at the first option orsign of problems.Individuals with strong commitments build strong communities.Relationships are based on commitment, not just on closeness and intimacy.A personcan be intimate and close and yet not be committed.With changing values, it is evenconsidered good to have uncommitted relationships.Many people are not willing to make commitments because they feel they are not readyfor it.However, in the meantime, for years they keep sharing and using anything andeverything of one another.Their pretext is, "We are still checking out each other beforewe commit." What are they checking out that they haven't already checked out in a fewdays or a few months or a few years?In my opinion they are selfish parasites who are trying to get as much as possible whilethe going is good.They are only takers who are a liability to society.Many peopleconfuse commitment with confinement.Relationships don't last because of passion and love but because of commitment andempathy.A commitment implies putting the other person's needs ahead of one's own.Sometimes good people with the best intentions are faced with conflicting commitments.For instance,1.A policeman is committed to caring for his wife who is on her death bed.But all of asudden he gets an emergency call to handle a situation, at the other end of town whereten lives are at stake.What does he do?2.A surgeon is looking forward to his daughter's graduation.He is committed to thisonce-in-a-lifetime event.With all guests at the function, 20 minutes before the ceremony,Page 162 of 175 he gets an emergency call to operate on an accident victim to save his life.What choicedoes he have?Choosing one does not mean lack of commitment to the other.The process of making achoice between the two commitments would involve priority, responsibility and duty.Notkeeping one over the other would not make the person feel guilty
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