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.She has early classes this week, so she’s been up and gone long before I need to be.It irritates her that I don’t drop my entire life and follow her around like some sappy lovesick teenager, and in turn her expectations piss me off.Is it wrong of me to say that I’ve been really enjoying these stolen moments of solitude?I think about how I got myself into this situation as I adjust the water temperature to the shower, shaking my head in disappointment.I step under the hot spray, grabbing my all in one shampoo/body wash.I’ve been using this since high school and still love it.It cuts shower time down and that’s important to me.At one point Mandy had four different hair products for me to use in the shower.It took her some time to understand that I’m a guy and I don’t need three different shampoos.All it did was piss me off.I soap up my heavily muscled body and let my mind wander.My current issues with Mandy have me thinking about my mom and dad and the situation they had thrust me into as a child, whether I wanted it or not.When everything was finally revealed to me, I was devastated.All the years of lies and half-truths had a major impact on me, affecting how I trust others.I had been beaten down myself, of sorts.Lies of omission are lies in my book and I still grit my teeth when I think of it.I had turned nine that summer, the summer my entire world spun on its axis.Mom and Dad sat me down to tell me that I had a half-brother.Dad had cheated on mom and it resulted in a boy my age, although, that’s not how they told it.It was something more along the lines of a mistake.Still, he was conceived and born while my parents were married.In fact, we’re only weeks apart.I couldn’t understand how Dad could do that to Mom, and to me.My innocence couldn’t understand why Mom wasn’t angrier at that time.I still don’t understand it.Cheating is a hard limit for me, resulting in no second chances.Even at the age of nine I understood betrayal and shame.Dad hadn’t been aware that his indiscretion resulted in a child, and from what I remember he was pretty fucking angry it had been kept from him.My Dad may be a cheater, but he is a good dad, and to find out he had a son somewhere without a father devastated him.I, though, wasn’t ready for a brother, half or not.My plan was to hate him; after all, it was his mother who had interested Dad.Apparently, he didn’t want to like me either, but we were forced to figure it out, because I was informed that he would be spending summers with us from that day forward.I still remember it like it was yesterday.“Say hello to your brother, Sawyer,” Dad said while nudging me towards Mark.I was sullen and angry, my arms crossed over my chest.I even let out an angry little puff of air and rolled my eyes.“Hello, Mark.” I stared at his face while keeping a stony expression on mine.There was no way in hell that I was going to like him.He mirrored my stance and expression, clearly not any happier about the situation than I was.Our faces and bodies were mirror images to one another, right down to the color of our deep green eyes.“Hello, Sawyer,” he said through gritted teeth.“I want the two of you to go on and play and give each other a chance,” Dad said when he could tell we were both angry.I know Dad meant well with the whole situation, but I wasn’t sure that either one of us was going to give in.Mom had even sat me down the night before and tried to get me to see things from Mark’s perspective, like how he hadn’t even known he had a dad or a brother, and I only had to adjust to learning about Mark.She asked if I could put myself in his shoes and imagine how nervous he might be to not only meet a dad he knew nothing of, but a brother as well.I remember how Mom nodded at me as if to nudge me towards him.I did as she asked, trying to put myself in his shoes and to feel how hard it must have been for him.I remember staring at the boy who had the same green eyes as me and Dad, and sighing loudly, dropping my arms from across my chest, hoping that I wasn’t going to regret it.“C’mon,” I said.“I built a really cool tree fort out back.” I watched his face as he thought about it for a moment and then he gave me a little nod and dropped his arms from his chest too, and off we went.That initial meeting was awkward and rough for both of us, but it wasn’t long and we were thick as thieves [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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