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.Benji checks his bandage and says it looks good.And then he goes straight home.It’s just Mom, Dad, Flynn, and me.The four of us eat dinner together.Mom cuts Flynn’s chicken, which I can tell makes him uncomfortable, but he thanks her and continues eating.And really, the whole thing is uncomfortable.Nobody talks about what happened or what will happen next, avoiding the subject all together, and I think it makes our awkward dinner that much more…awkward.But then it’s over and Mom and I are washing dishes.I keep glancing up at Benji’s window.I don’t know what I expect to see, but I continue watching anyway.I want to go riding, but I know that’s not an option, so I take Flynn and a book outside.I need to get out of the house, if only for a few minutes.I know it’s risky, so we go to the back porch swing where we can stay out of sight.We both look ridiculous trying to sit without causing ourselves, or each other, too much pain.We both laugh when we’re finally settled and it’s nice.It was just a couple of days ago I was afraid Flynn would never speak to me again.It seems so insignificant now.He stares out into the field and I’m pretty sure he’s thinking about his parents.I put my hand over his and lean into his arm a little.He sighs and intertwines our fingers.“I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you.”I have to think about this for several seconds because he doesn’t say it like I was one of the people that dragged him from a fire.He says it like if I didn’t live here then he would not currently be residing here, either.And that makes my stomach hurt.I swallow what feels like a gigantic rock.“Flynn,” I say, my voice shaking over the one word.“You’re all I have left.” He gazes down at me, squeezing my fingers.“I know we broke up, but I need you.”I squeeze his hand back and rest my head on his upper arm.“I’m here.”“Where do you think my parents are?” he asks after a silent minute.“I hate the idea of them being nowhere.”I swallow another rock.I have no idea what to say.My grandpa had told me once that religion was invented because people couldn’t deal with death.They needed to think their loved ones lived on in another world.He never believed in God and Heaven.I have no idea what I believe, but the thought of there being nothing more out there is terrifying.“I don’t know,” I confess.“I can’t believe they’re dead.” He stumbles over the last word, his voice low and raspy.“I can’t believe they’re gone.”He does that thing again, that way he has of making a sentence sound like it has a different, more significant meaning.I can’t tell if he’s saying he’s having a hard time accepting they aren’t alive or if he’s hoping that a part of them remain, continuing on in the afterlife.As I process my thoughts, I decide he probably means both.My heart hurts for him.My chest feels tight and tears sting my eyes.I slide my arm under his, hugging his bicep to me.We don’t talk anymore.We watch the sunset until the bugs start biting and we’re forced to go inside.Flynn’s reached his limit for the day so I help him back to bed.He takes one of those crazy pain pills Benji gave me while I check his bandage.I tell him good night and go to my room so I can look at Benji’s window again.I know, I’m pathetic.I change into some comfortable pajamas and tug the blanket down.The first thing I notice as I lie in bed is Benji’s blinds are open.The second thing makes my heart skip an actual beat.A pink belladonna lily is clipped to the clothesline.I’m frozen, staring at it because lilies are my favorite flowers.A memory surfaces, taking me by surprise.Benji and I were sitting on the porch after school, reading our library books.He had picked a book about dinosaurs.Mine was about flowers because Mom wanted to start a small garden.As I leafed through the pages, one flower caught my eye.The belladonna lily.The petals were pointed, giving it the appearance of a star.And even though the tips pointed sharply, the petals themselves appeared to be soft and smooth.Something about the contrast captivated me.Benji liked what the name meant.“Beauty or beautiful lady,” he read aloud.“Like sleeping beauty.Like you, Briar.”I showed Mom, but apparently belladonna lilies were expensive.We planted tulips instead.I push the screen up and very gently unhook the flower.I run my fingers over the petals then bring it to my nose, inhaling deeply.This is how I remember Benji.18BenjiI push my fists against my eyes and groan.It’s like each day keeps repeating with Megan
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Christine Wood [Life Plan 01] A Life Plan Without You (epub)
Clair Delaney [Coral 01] Coral (epub)
Christine Cody [Bloodlands 01 Bloodlands (epub)
Christina Ross [Unleash Me, A Unleash Me, Vol 3 (epub)
Christine Flynn [The Hunt for Once Upon a Christmas Eve (epub
Christian Fletcher [The Left Left on the Brink (epub)
Christopher G Nuttall [Royal The Royal Sorceress (epub)
Christina Ross [Unleash Me, A Unleash Me, Vol 1 (epub)
Emilie Richards [Ministry is Murder 04] A Lie for a Lie (pdf)