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.“There’s just something about him that reaches for something in me.He’s so.” She trailed off and rolled over, looking at Blythe.“I don’t even know how to explain him.”“You have stars in your eyes.” Blythe pushed back the fall of Judith’s hair and studied her face.“What happened between the two of you?”Blythe couldn’t help but be happy along with Judith, swept up in her joy.She wanted to be practical and caution Judith to go slow, to remember that Thomas was only thinking of buying the gallery and could be gone in a few days, but the happiness pulsating throughout the house was too contagious.“Nothing.” Judith sat up, unable to be still.“Everything.I wanted him.Not just wanted him, Blythe.I wanted to be inside his skin with him.I felt like Sleeping Beauty.He came along and woke me up and I don’t even know how.I feel alive for the first time in years.I can’t remember being happy, Blythe, not like this.”Blythe took a deep breath.Someone had to be reasonable.Practical.“Sweetie, you can’t just blindly jump off a cliff.You know that, right?”She might know it, but that was the biggest part of the problem.“I might be afraid—no, terrified—and yet.honestly exhilarated.It feels as if I’ve woken up after a long sleep.” Her eyes met Blythe’s.“I forgot how good it feels to be aroused by a man.To know he thinks I’m desirable and beautiful.”It had been so long.She’d been afraid she was permanently damaged as a woman, so scarred by her past that her mind and body refused to acknowledge men.So broken that no one could fix her.Yet, miraculously, she’d been attracted to Thomas Vincent.The real deal.A fierce, driving passion that had come out of nowhere and was so overpowering it had driven all sense out of her head so that elation was alive in her.There was no containing the intensity of the emotion, no reining it in.She could breathe all she wanted and no way was it going to help.She didn’t want to rein it in.She wanted to feel.everything.“Most men find you desirable and beautiful.You don’t notice them, Judith,” Blythe pointed out.“This isn’t like you.It’s.” She trailed off.“Intense.” Judith finished her sentence for her.She touched her lips realizing she’d said the word aloud.She laughed softly.“I feel like dancing.”“A little scary don’t you think?” Blythe’s voice was gentle.“I know, Blythe, I do, but right at this moment, I’m willing to jump right off that cliff with my eyes closed.Tomorrow I’ll wake up and be Judith again, all contained and frozen, but tonight, just for tonight, I want to believe I can live again.”Blythe frowned.“Frozen? Is that how you’ve felt? That you aren’t really living? Judith, I thought you were happy here with us.”“I am.I have been.It isn’t the same, Blythe.I worked so hard to contain my feelings.Do you really think someone is so perfectly pleasant at all times? I smile when deep inside I want to scream.I get frustrated and angry just like anyone else, but those emotions aren’t safe for me to feel around other people.So I push them down and smile until I’m perfect and pleasant and safe.”Judith leapt up and paced across her floor, unable to stay still.She wanted to.She felt a little crazy with her heady happiness and she knew Blythe was growing afraid for her.She couldn’t care about that right now.There was no tamping down strong emotions and any intense emotion would affect everyone around her.Living in such close proximity to those she loved was a good idea, until her body woke up, until she stopped feeling dead inside.She could contain anger and sorrow, but the sheer joy and trepidation, the way she felt so alive being with Thomas Vincent—that was impossible.Joy spilled out and, God help her, she needed to feel real emotion again, even if it was in the safety of her home and for one single night.She couldn’t stop smiling even with Blythe witnessing her out-of-control behavior.“Just tonight.Just for now.Inside my house where no one else can be affected, Blythe.I called you because you seem to absorb my feelings rather than react to them.I have to allow myself this one night of complete happiness.” There was a plea in her voice, but she couldn’t help it.She wanted to know she was wholly a woman and she had to share this incredible moment with someone she loved.“Please be happy for me.”It was amazing to feel fully alive again, a vibrant, desirable woman.Of course she wouldn’t do anything about it, but the sheer relief of knowing she could was as stimulating as the best champagne.Blythe moistened her lips.“It’s impossible not to be happy for you, Judith.I’ve never seen you like this.I just want you to make certain you know all the hidden dangers.You have to see him at the gallery.It’s not like you can totally avoid him.”Judith took a breath and made her confession in a rush.“I invited him here tomorrow.To ride the tractor with me and have lunch.I told him I’d show him around the farm.”She felt so guilty.Well guilt was there, but maybe not uppermost.She could close her eyes and hold the image of Tom—Thomas, he would always be a Thomas to her—looking as if he might blush and stammer any moment.He was so amazing.He looked tougher than nails and had a reputation as a brilliant businessman, yet with her he’d been almost shy.She had almost felt sorry for him until that moment when her eyes had met his and there was nothing at all shy about the way he was looking at her.He looked as if it was all he could do to keep from throwing her down on the counter as she’d been imagining.He looked capable of being rough and hot and so needy he could barely wait to get her clothes off.She knew she looked reserved and cool, but her needs had nothing to do with reservation or cool.Deep inside was a well of passion—of fire—and somehow, Thomas Vincent had managed to find it.She wanted to weep with joy—with fear.She destroyed people, those closest to her, her family, people she loved.And when she loved, she loved with every fiber of her being.“You did what?” Blythe asked, shock showing on her face.“Invited him here?”Judith took a deep breath, pressing a hand to her churning stomach.Blythe wasn’t any more stunned at her behavior than she was.The farm was sacred—their sanctuary [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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